Saturday, April 4, 2009

It Breaks My Heart...


Ouch. That hurt...

This morning while trying to get some work done on my laptop, I repeatedly asked my son to lay at the other end of the couch. He was trying to snuggle, but he has a tough time sitting still, so it was more like cuddling with a windshield wiper. Somewhere around the 20th time I asked him to move, my request had a certain "tone" of OBEY NOW!

He looked at me with a very disappointed expression and replied,


"Mom, you really break my heart when you don't want me next to you."


Oh, baby...
I'm so sorry.
Nothing is more important than taking tim
e to let you know you're loved.
Nothing.

Not paying bills
or
Responding to emails
or
Reading blogs
or
Teaching an Online Course for UCF
or
Ebay
or
Facebook.

Forgive me for acting like
the most important thing isn't the most important thing.
When you were 3

You did not want to cuddle or hug
.
I prayed that you would learn to enjoy being loved
.
Now you do

And I tell you to move away.

Shame on me.
Forgive me, ho
ney.
Someday, you might think you're too big to cuddle.

So I will remember to cherish
Every hug
Every kiss
Every moment
Every day.

I am




Donna

10 comments:

Jenn said...

I am so glad I stopped by to read your blog. I just love that poem! I am going to follow your blog...thanks for stopping by my blog and inviting me over!! Be blessed! Jenn.

Rebecca said...

Tears in my eyes from your blog -- yet again! wow... thanks...

Unknown said...

That made me misty-eyed. Mothering is such a guilt trip anyway...and I can only imagine the struggle when you have a child with special needs. He is so blessed to be yours. You are doing a great job.

Vicki said...

Hi Donna, thanks for stopping by at my blog. We have 4 son's 16 (ASD) 13, 10 and 19 month's (foster son). I have enjoyed reading through your blog. I'll stop in more often and don't be a stranger!

Mrs. Schaeffer said...

Hello! Thank you for stopping by my blog today. I started to read yours, too, and I am really enjoying it. I've been a little light on the posting lately, but I have a feeling I'll be up and running again. We're going on a family vacation soon, and it should be interesting for all of us.

I was reading your comparison of your son and a windshield wiper. So true. I've never thought of my son or daughter like that, but it makes sense. I think I usually call them wiggle worms or silly monkeys. They're always always always 'trying to get comfortable'.

I look forward to reading more from you and learning more about your family. Thanks again!

CC said...

Awwwww! Thanks for letting me know you were back blogging!

Casdok said...

Our kids teach us lessons well!

Mom's Fortress of Solitude said...

Hey! No fair! I gave you a chuckle and you made me cry! No fair! ;o)

Seriously, though, your poem says it all - about autism and all kids not afflicted.

It's funny how quickly our little ones can teach us life's lessons . . . most often when we least expect it.

Thank you for sharing this wonderful tidbit of life with a special needs child.

I'm definitely following you, now. :o)

Angela

Gina said...

What a blessing you are! Thank you.

Melissa said...

A very good reminder for all of us, Donna. Thank you!